The holiday season is often a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but for many, it can also bring stress, overwhelm, and heightened emotions. Whether it’s managing family dynamics, navigating social expectations, or coping with personal challenges, the holidays can be difficult to navigate. Preparing yourself with intentionality and a solid plan can help you approach the season with confidence and care.

Here’s how you can prepare for the holidays while prioritizing your mental health:

1. Create a "Cope Ahead" Plan: Planning ahead can reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control. A cope ahead plan involves:

• Identifying potential stressors: What situations, events, or dynamics tend to be most challenging for you during the holidays?

• Creating action steps: How will you respond if these stressors arise? For example:

  • If a family member brings up a triggering topic, plan how to excuse yourself or redirect the conversation.

  • If you anticipate feeling overwhelmed, outline specific coping strategies (e.g., stepping outside, texting a friend, or using grounding techniques).

Planning ahead and even visualizing yourself coping effectively isn’t just a good idea—it’s rooted in fascinating neuroscience. In sports psychology, researchers have explored the brain’s response to visualization and discovered that the same neural pathways are activated whether you’re physically engaging in a behavior or simply imagining yourself doing it. Studies using fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) have shown that areas of the brain like the motor cortex, prefrontal cortex, and cerebellum—all involved in planning and executing movements—light up both during actual performance and vivid mental rehearsal.

So what does that mean? It means that coping ahead is an incredibly effective tool because your brain doesn’t fully distinguish between real and imagined scenarios. By visualizing yourself handling challenging situations, your brain essentially "practices" the experience, strengthening neural pathways as if you’d already done it. When you encounter the situation in real life, your brain responds with a sense of familiarity, almost like saying, “Oh hey, we’ve been here before—we know what to do.”

By visualizing yourself using coping strategies in advance, you’re training your brain to respond effectively in the moment, making it a proactive, science-backed way to manage stress and uncertainty for the holiday season.

2. Talk to Loved Ones About Your Needs: Open communication can set the tone for a smoother holiday experience. Before gatherings, consider discussing your:

• Boundaries: Share what you’re comfortable with and what you’d prefer to avoid (e.g., "I’d appreciate it if we could avoid discussing politics this year.")

• Needs or expectations: Let loved ones know how they can support you. For example, you might say, “It would mean a lot if we could keep things low-key this year.”

Communicating early helps manage expectations and creates an environment where your well-being is respected.

3. Develop a Coping Skills Toolbox: When the holiday hustle feels overwhelming, having a go-to list of coping skills can help you reset and regain balance. Some ideas include:

• Grounding techniques: Try deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or focusing on the senses (you can find great resources on Spotify and YouTube for guided meditations)

• Joyful distractions: Watch a favorite movie, listen to music, or engage in a hobby.

• Movement: Take a walk, stretch, or dance to release pent-up energy.

• Self-compassion practices: Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions during the holidays.

4. Meet Yourself Where You Are: The holidays can amplify a desire to meet high expectations, but it’s important to honor your current emotional state and set realistic goals:

• Adjust traditions if needed: If large gatherings feel too much this year, consider celebrating in smaller ways that feel more manageable.

• Set achievable goals: Focus on what feels right for you instead of striving for perfection. It’s okay if your holiday season looks different from others'.

Be gentle with yourself, and remember that your well-being matters more than meeting societal or familial expectations.

5. Have an Escape Plan: Even with preparation, unexpected stressors can arise. Creating an exit strategy allows you to step away if needed:

• Know your limits: Pay attention to your emotional energy and notice when you feel overwhelmed.

• Plan your exits: Whether it’s taking a short walk, finding a quiet space, or leaving the event early, ensure you have a way to step back and recharge.

• Practice self-soothing: If you leave, engage in activities that help you calm down and refocus.

6. Communicate With Your Support System

Let your trusted friends, partner, or therapist know how they can support you during this time. For example:

• Share your holiday plans and any concerns you have.

• Let them know how to check in with you (e.g., sending a text before or after a family gathering).

• Ask for specific support, such as practicing conversations, brainstorming boundaries, or simply being available for a vent session.

Your support system can be a valuable resource in helping you feel connected and grounded.

7. Take Breaks When Needed: The holidays often come with a whirlwind of activity, but it’s crucial to prioritize rest and recharge:

• Schedule downtime into your plans.

• Give yourself permission to say "no" to events or obligations that feel draining.

• Use breaks as an opportunity to reflect, journal, or engage in mindfulness.

Taking care of yourself during the season is not selfish—it’s essential!

Final Thoughts

The holiday season can be both beautiful and challenging, but with thoughtful preparation, you can navigate it in a way that honors your needs and well-being. By creating a cope ahead plan, communicating with loved ones, and practicing self-care, you can set yourself up for a season that feels more manageable and meaningful.

Remember: It’s okay to take things one step at a time and prioritize your mental health. If you need additional support, don’t hesitate to reach out to your therapist or trusted individuals in your life. You deserve a holiday season filled with peace and self-compassion.